self-inflicted.
but you never care.
you dint, even a bit.

you never speak.
you doesnt matter.
what m i to you?
helpless nights.
but you dint ask,
you dont sense.

bleak.
why has it turned out to be like this?
im sick of asking myself why.
im tired of you doing this to me.
or was it everything only on my part?
that im feeling all these uncertainties?
i dont feel like going to school.
cos i hated stealing glances at you.
but you dont.
cos i dont even matter.

has it faded?
happy 5th mth to myself.
im used to celebrating all this by myself.
all along, it has been felt this way.

that razor sharp runs thru my skin.
permeates thru.
but the pain dont seems to go away.
its intriguing.
i hurt even more within.
the self-infliction doesnt help.
it doesnt help erasing you from my mind.
its just another pain.
second pain.
just physical.

i told lies to console myself.
and still.
it help no more.
just what do you want from me?
stop torturing.
cos i cant stand this.

im afraid you're the first i say gdbye to.
i love you so.