没有你的第一百十四天

had the craving for movies today.
went ahead with plan to watch it alone.
bought myself a ticket for X-MEN ORIGINS.
sheer exciting.
simply a nice show.
simply a waste to watch it not.
before the movie starts,
went to pierce a fourth earhole.
heart was pumping fast,
i knew it wont hurt.
but there it goes.
my heart was racing,
im in a dilemma.
but still, went ahead with that craving i had long ago.
its quite enjoyable to watch it alone.
its a wholly new feeling.
& im beginning to be drawn to it.
you know,
every earhole paints an agony i go through.
i faced it during 15,
& i faced another now.
its a sign of rebellion, no doubt.
but thats something that can only make me feel..
feel stronger and assured within.
there's no other way out,
at least for me.
i have departed, if you dont see.
departed from the world i used to be in.
i thought i was one happy girl,
no sadness will plague me.
but i was wrong.
though i hate changes,change had changed me.
what am i?

it hurts me.
every song,every picture,every word,
reminds me of you still.
you told me to move on.
you told me not to wait.
you sounded resolute in your words.
i want to heed your words.
i want to agree with it.
i want to move on.
but i just cant.
dont ask me why.
i guess you & i knew the answer.
只是怀念，当你走以后。