没有你的第一百十天

its reported that this H1N1 is similar to that of 1918's pandemic.
we wont know if it will strike again during autumn,
worse still.
will this be the wipe out of humankind?
realised i've achieved nothing out of the 17 years-going-18.
just pure studying.
if i were to leave the world because of this influenza A,
i think i will leave with full of regrets.
because i wasnt able to complete Alvls which i have studied so hard for.
because im still damn young.
because i haven been able to spend the rest of my life with you yet.
but sometimes,
it seems to me that escapism is the best solution.
& all these regrets aint regrets anymore.

maybe its me all along,
hallucinating all the possiblities.
uncannily true.
but hallucinations are just hallucinations.
& memories are just our past.
whats there to hold on to?
& definitely nothing to hold back too.

do i still stand a place in that corner of your heart?
you do.